Monday, December 27, 2010

Want vs. Need

...

Good morning from Kamloops, BC.

So......did you get what you want for Christmas?

Was your list long and detailed?

What did you want exactly?

I do hope you got what you wanted for Christmas, but more importantly realize that what you need the most, was not likely under the Christmas tree.

I am finding that the older (and hopefully wiser) I get, my list gets shorter.

Why is that exactly?   Well in most cases, the "things" we want, and usually get for Christmas and Birthday's etc. are not essential.  Nice to have, nevertheless.

Now, don't get me wrong, I enjoy a great gift as much as anyone, and I did receive some amazing things this year.

The words Want and Need come up alot and are constantly interchanged.  When we were young, we wanted everything, but we didn't necessarily need everything.

Definition of want..................and need

"Want" refers to what you absolutely have to have and "need" refers to something that you don't really lust for -- but you just need it. A need is a necessity.
....or A "want" refers to something that you would prefer to have, what you see as a good rather than a bad. A "need" refers to something that is absolutely necessary to your health (both physical and mental). You may not want to eat salt or take insulin (if you have diabetes), but they are necessary to your health.
Sources: http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_do_you_define_wants_and_needs

As I ponder on my short Christmas list, I realized that I received some of what I wanted, but I am truly getting what I need as it relates to items off the list.

I thank my family, many amazing friends and my health for that.

In 2011, there are many things that I want, as my goal list is long and detailed, but I am focused on ensuring that I get what I need.  I need to take care of myself, mentally, physically and emotional.  How about you?
My need list isn't long, but it is definitely essential to my well-being.  It is work-in-progress.
More importantly, I want to help others appreciate that what they need may not be purchased, but rather something that may be a touch away, or at least take only minutes to receive.

Have a great week with family and friends......you need it..!


"Helping you to the next level"

Monday, December 20, 2010

Reflection

...

It is that time of year when I start to reflect on the past year.

For some, they write annual letters and send cards to family and friends, to share the events of the past year.

I was speaking with a Coaching client last week and they commented that they had many great things that happened to them in 2010, but they didn't write the details down.

There is real advantage of this for many reasons. You can reflect all all that you have accomplished, even if it is small and insignificant at the time.  

Another aspect of reflection for me is what may have went wrong and how did I handle it?   In hindsight, were things as bad as I actually thought that they would be at the time?   In many cases, they were not as bad.

I too reflect on my actions....or lack of action.

The definition of reflection is:
Given to reflection or serious consideration; reflective; contemplative; as a reflecting mind.
Throwing back light, heat, etc., as a mirror or other surface.
Click for image


Upon reflection for me:

I have many amazing people in my life, including family and wonderful friends.

It's ironic that I am today sending out my Blog post later than normal, largely due to the fact that I was away all weekend and just arrived home this morning.    I had an amazing experience that just happened to me less than 60 minutes ago.  As I was driving I saw an elderly couple walking to their snow covered car, and as they walked straight down the road, I thought, "perhaps I have met these people for a reason" as they further delayed my morning schedule. As I looked in my rearview mirror, I looped back to their vehicle, as I discovered they were now stuck in a solid, snowed packed ridge of snow.  I pulled over and started to assist, but realized it would take more than just me to make it happen.  Within minutes there were 4 of us helping and strategizing to get them out (without shovels in hand).  As we collaborated a moment we managed to push the couple out and they were on their way.   The truly amazing part of the story was when all four guys (including me) said "great job guys" and wished each other Merry Christmas and shook hands and went on our way.

As I drove away I reflected on the experience and thought, I am sure glad that the elderly couple delayed my morning schedule.  Upon reflection, I was pleased with the man in my mirror.

I will end with a powerful message from the song "Man in the Mirror", by the late Michael Jackson.....

I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways
And No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place And Then Make A Change


When you look in the mirror and see your image reflecting back, are you happy with the reflection?

I welcome comments in the section below.

Happy holidays and Merry Christmas to those of you celebrating! 

"Helping you to the next level"

Monday, December 13, 2010

I am glad I did! ... Do you wish you had?

...

Life can offer many regrets.


The following line impacted me when I first heard it. (approx. 15 years ago)
At the end of my journey, I want to say..... "I am glad I did vs. I wish I had"

The premise here is that at the end of our lives we will reflect on the past.  The visual in my case, when I first heard of this, was a Basket full of "I wish I had's."

What's in your basket? 

For some, they may regret not furthering their education.
Others may regret not taking that exciting job offer.
We may wish that we spent more time playing with our kids.
Perhaps we wished that we built meaningful relationships.

I see this to be different from our "bucket list", as in many cases they are smaller things (significant nevertheless) that we can do, or decide not to do, yet can make all the difference.

Is there still time to ensure that the "I wish I had's stay out of your basket?

There are many examples of how I have applied the title of this Blog in my life.......how about you?

What are you glad that you did?

What do you wish you had done?

As for me....

I am glad that I called my Mom on a regular basis when she was living.
I am glad that I travelled to visit my Dad a few weeks before he passed away.
I am glad that I text my kids to keep in touch, so they know that I am there.
I am glad that I said hi, and met amazing people that impacted my life.
I am glad that I made a difference in some people's life.
I am glad that I read The Alchemist. (It allowed me to take risks and understand the miracle of life, by allowing the unexpected to happen.)
I am glad that I started my Blog that allows me the opportunity to stay connected with so many people.

The upcoming weekend will offer another opportunity to say "I am glad I did", when I travel 6 hours to visit a long time family friend to share in her 75th Birthday celebration.  Darlene Neuman of Lethbridge, Alberta is like a Mom to me and I have known her for 20 years.   I had other plans this weekend with Christmas parties, etc.  My thought process was very simple.   After I visit her, I know, with certainty that I will say, I am glad I did.   Not going, was simply not an option!

The reverse of this is, if you didn't take action, what do you wish you had done?

We have an opportunity to decide if we want to live with regret, or be glad we made a decision to take action, regardless of the outcome.

At the end of the day, none of us want to say................."I wish I had......."

Here's the happy ending to this week's Blog.   Create a list of I wish I had's and take action to be glad you did them before it's too late. 

I welcome your comments in the comment section below.

"Helping you to the next level"

Monday, December 6, 2010

Goals vs. Resolutions

...

Hello from sunny California!  (back to chilly Edmonton tonight)

Tis the season to be planning!  Fa la la la la la la la la.

With less than 30 days until the New Year, I thought I would give you a heads up.

It is statistically proven that less than 3 percent of New Years resolutions are acted upon and achieved.

Why exactly?

Well as I see it, many people make the common mistake.  They start to reflect on the past year and realize that they want to make changes.......a good thing!  But, they don't know what they want, why they want it, and how they can get it....

In my Coaching practice I talk about Goal Setting constantly......not just once per year.  This can apply to anyone when it comes to achieving objectives in 2011.  The key here is that a goal is not a resolution.  (The definition of a resolution, "a decision to do something or to behave in a certain manner")  Think about it!   It is just a decision to do something..........it is only the first and very basic step.

In light of the fact that we have some time (less than 30 days, assuming you want to get started on January 1st) to articulate our Goals for 2011, here are a few tips for you. (Thanks to one of my mentors, Anthony Robbins)

What is your OUTCOME?  (What do you want?.......it could be several things)
...some examples

-make more money
-lose weight
-write a book
-plan a dream vacation
-improve relationships with your kids
-open a flower shop
-complete an MBA

(TIP:  be specific with Goals.  eg....I want to lose 20 lbs by March 31st, 2011)

Some Goals can be accomplished in a relatively short period of time, but some take longer.  Chunk out the goal so you show progress along the journey.  Losing 20 lbs may take 90 days, or longer.  If you break this down into 30 day time frames it is easier to show progress.  You have to lose 5 lbs before you can lose 20 lbs.

What is your PURPOSE?  (Why do you want it?....make this very compelling!)

For every Goal (Outcome) you need to write down why you want to accomplish it)

..example   I want to lose 20 lbs so I can fit into my new bathing suit for my spring vacation to Mexico.  I want to lose 20 lbs so I can have more energy and vitality and be healthier overall.

In my words, I believe that "wimpy why's" getting wimpy results.

If your why is...."just because", you are less likely to achieve your goals and outcomes.  Trust me on this!!!

The third and final step....
What ACTION will you take?  How will you accomplish the goal(s)?

This is obviously a key step, but usually the following things happen.  We know WHAT we want?  (The goal/outcome)  We may know WHY we want to accomplish the goal/outcome.  We don't know HOW we are going to accomplish it, so we wimp out or stop believing we can do it.  The second issue, is that we do not make the Action specific and measurable.

My son Nick has an awesome goal when he is 25 years old.  (he is now 19)   He knows why he wants it too.  His concern,"but I don't know how to do it"  The exciting part for us (I say us, because I want him to achieve his goal as much as he does, and he will likely get some complimentary coaching through the years.  LOL.  It's what I do!)

Ok....Back to the 20 lbs weight loss goal.   I will go for a 30 min walk 4 times per week.  I will stop eating snacks after 7pm.  I will replace my soft drink habit with water, etc.

I highly recommend that you write all of the above on paper.  Track it, measure it and share your goals with others.  It is always helpful to have other people in your corner to support you.

Revisit your goals often.  For some of you it may be weekly.  For others it may be monthly. (this is at the minimum) 

As I reflect on some of my past goals that were accomplished, I realized that I looked at the goals, the purpose and my action on a very regular basis.  Top of mind can make all the difference.  Back burner doesn't get the attention it needs.

Remember Dr. Stephen R. Covey's book, "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People"...  Habit 2  "Begin with the end in mind"  
What does it feel like and look like when you accomplish your goal?  Put yourself in that place.  It will help you get to where you plan on going.

As always, I welcome our comments in the section below.

"Helping you to the next level"