...
Just over a week ago, my son Nick and I were returning from Mexico. As we sat on the plane, ready for take off, the pilot announced. "ladies and gentlemen there will be a slight delay, as our flight plan has not arrived yet." (Kind of important, right?) So we waited for 2 hours until it finally arrived. Great, now we can take off. No, we now have to re-fuel.
I chuckled to myself and thought...."did we not plan this trip out already?......I think Edmonton was the plan, right???
Does this sound familiar?
Someone just acheived great success.......................they say to them themselves, I don't know where I want to go from here?
On the flip side, they may have experienced great pain and challenge. They think, wow, I don't want that again, but I don't know where I want to go from here to avoid future pain.
Why is that exactly?
Well, I have a few thoughts...
If you are like most people, you don't set a course/plan with absolute intent.
Gee,.. I didn't know that I would end up HERE! Where did you want to go in the first place? I don't know. Then you may have ended up where you were suppose to go.
Alice in Wonderland......
It's hard to believe that there was deep meaning in this classic novel, but one scene and series of quotes really hits home with this week's topic.
Alice: Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?
The Cat: That depends a good deal on where you want to get to.
Alice: I don't much care where.
The Cat: Then it doesn't much matter which way you go.
Alice: …so long as I get somewhere.
The Cat: Oh, you're sure to do that, if only you walk long enough.
Does this resonate with you and your plans sometimes? How can you change that?
Like a great road trip......it is ok to tour sometimes, (you may use more fuel), but eventually you need to end up at a particular destination. (It could be where you started in the first place)
The reality in life is that time starts to play a factor. If we do not establish some form of clarity in our life as to where we want to go from here, we will tour around and waste fuel. Not a big deal over a weekend, but if you make this a habit for a month, year, decade, it could be costly.
A few examples:
Starting out on a new career path, but you don't know if it is for you. 10 years later, you realize that it wasn't for you.
Working on some form of education to find out it wasn't what you really wanted to do.......oops I changed my mind.
Being in a relationship for many years and as you approach retirement, where you can spend more time together, you want to travel the world and your partner wants to relax at home.
Remember, ....you need to ask the question often. Where do I want to go from here? When other people are involved, and they usually are. (i.e. partners, kids, business associates, etc.) You need them to answer the same question.
A tip for this......................fast forward 5 years out. What do you see your life looking like? Do you like what you see? What scares you most? Make some small corrections now to reset your course. Communicate with others, if necessary.
Plan and chart Life's journey! It does not need to be as precise as a flight plan from Cancun to Edmonton, but it must have some tangible details.
We don't want to end up like Alice, do we?
I look forward to connecting with you next Monday.
"Helping you to the next level"
Monday, January 17, 2011
Monday, January 10, 2011
Loss
...
Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose!
Most of us can relate to the recent loss that the Canadian Junior Hockey team, and the entire country experienced when they were upset by the Russian team....Some say it was unexpected, yet the risk of loss in sports and life is always a real possibility. There is not absolute certainty with most things in our life.
I know that we have all suffered loss in our life. For some it may have been small and others life altering.
Whether, it is the loss of a loved one; a job opportunity; your favorite sports team; or loss of a meaningful relationship, it can be tough and very impactful.
It is never easy, is it?
How we respond to the loss becomes more critical and paramount.
We usually analyze how it happened and definitely why it happened.
The part of the program where we actually accept the loss for what is it, or was, is really key!
Most of us tend to dwell alot and it does not allow us the opportunity to step forward and move pass the loss.
I am not suggesting that this process happens over night.........it can take a very long time, depending on how significant the loss and the nature of the circumstance.
There are many people in my life experiencing some form of loss at this time and my heart goes out to them. They will all handle it differently, but over time it will get easier.
Dealing with Loss is much like grieving and there are many sources out there that suggest it is a process.
The most common include:
Denial- You are in disbelief........such as, this can't be happening to me. Not accepting or even acknowledging the loss.
Anger- Why did this happen to me?
Depression- You simply feel overwhelmed, frustrated and bitter.
Acceptance- You have to accept the loss, not just try to cope quietly. Realization that the loss actually happened. Finding the good that can come out of the pain of loss. (This is not easy, and usually time is the only remedy)
Get help and support from family, friends and professionals. You will survive. You will heal, even if you can't believe that now.
Best wishes for a great week!
"Helping you to the next level"
Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose!
Most of us can relate to the recent loss that the Canadian Junior Hockey team, and the entire country experienced when they were upset by the Russian team....Some say it was unexpected, yet the risk of loss in sports and life is always a real possibility. There is not absolute certainty with most things in our life.
I know that we have all suffered loss in our life. For some it may have been small and others life altering.
Whether, it is the loss of a loved one; a job opportunity; your favorite sports team; or loss of a meaningful relationship, it can be tough and very impactful.
It is never easy, is it?
How we respond to the loss becomes more critical and paramount.
We usually analyze how it happened and definitely why it happened.
The part of the program where we actually accept the loss for what is it, or was, is really key!
Most of us tend to dwell alot and it does not allow us the opportunity to step forward and move pass the loss.
I am not suggesting that this process happens over night.........it can take a very long time, depending on how significant the loss and the nature of the circumstance.
There are many people in my life experiencing some form of loss at this time and my heart goes out to them. They will all handle it differently, but over time it will get easier.
Dealing with Loss is much like grieving and there are many sources out there that suggest it is a process.
The most common include:
Denial- You are in disbelief........such as, this can't be happening to me. Not accepting or even acknowledging the loss.
Anger- Why did this happen to me?
Depression- You simply feel overwhelmed, frustrated and bitter.
Acceptance- You have to accept the loss, not just try to cope quietly. Realization that the loss actually happened. Finding the good that can come out of the pain of loss. (This is not easy, and usually time is the only remedy)
Get help and support from family, friends and professionals. You will survive. You will heal, even if you can't believe that now.
Best wishes for a great week!
"Helping you to the next level"
Monday, January 3, 2011
Hey.......we get a do over!
...
Hello from Mexico. (Riviera Maya)
Feliz Año Nuevo a mis amigos, familia y contactos de negocios.
(Happy New Year to my friends, family and business contacts!)....sounds sexier in Spanish, doesn't it???
It is really hard to believe that 2011 is upon us, but wow, we get to accomplish so many things in the year ahead.
Those of you who are golfers can relate to the term, "mulligan".
This occurs when you hit a bad shot in golf and you get to do the shot over, without penalty. (Usually done during a social round of golf, and not for pro's or competitive tournaments)
Well, here is the good news; we get to take another shot at a New Year.
Whether your past year was played in the rough or you were cruising straight down the middle of the fairway, called life's journey, (without challenge), you get to start with a clean slate in 2011. What a cool concept....!
Continuing with the golf theme a little further. We all will be going with a shotgun start, which means we start this year's round all at the exact same time. Seems fair, doesn't it?
In addition, I highly recommend a "best ball" format. In fun golf tournaments this style of play is used to assist each team and balance out all players for speed of play and ideally makes the game as fair as possible.
If we apply this in our life, it simply means that we can have other people assist and support us throughout the year. A helpful idea!! It makes the flow of the year go by more smoothly and we usually win more times than we lose, however we still need to take a few shots on our own too!
It is a great feeling when we all get to start at the exact same place as everyone else, and shape our year the way we want to. But the really great news, is knowing that other people on your team can assist you throughout the year.
I have many amazing things I plan on doing in 2011, and this seems like as good of year as any, but I know that I can't do it all on my own.
How about you? Are you up for a do over?
What's on the list?
Who's on your team?
It is common for all of us to get the winter blues in the next 30-45 days.
Here are some tips to get through it.
-Change or tweak a few habits.
-Register for a cooking class. (I will be)
-How about taking the dog for a walk every night before dinner?
(If you don't have a dog, walk the neighbour's dog, as he is not likely as motivated as you are)
-Take your sweetie for a movie.
-Re-connect with an old friend. (I did this in early December and it felt awesome)
-Read a great book. (well at least look at the pictures...LOL)
-Join a gym. (ok, perhaps hang with people who go to the gym) :)
-Go on a warm vacation.
If you want to make this year better than the past year and avoid going insane....think about the words of Albert Einstein. "Insanity: ....doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
Click here for some creativity on how to get where you want to go.
As I see it......Life is a team sport....! Surround yourself with great team mates.
I welcome your comments on this week's blog, in the section below. Gracias!!
"Helping you to the next level"
Hello from Mexico. (Riviera Maya)
Feliz Año Nuevo a mis amigos, familia y contactos de negocios.
(Happy New Year to my friends, family and business contacts!)....sounds sexier in Spanish, doesn't it???
It is really hard to believe that 2011 is upon us, but wow, we get to accomplish so many things in the year ahead.
Those of you who are golfers can relate to the term, "mulligan".
This occurs when you hit a bad shot in golf and you get to do the shot over, without penalty. (Usually done during a social round of golf, and not for pro's or competitive tournaments)
Well, here is the good news; we get to take another shot at a New Year.
Whether your past year was played in the rough or you were cruising straight down the middle of the fairway, called life's journey, (without challenge), you get to start with a clean slate in 2011. What a cool concept....!
Continuing with the golf theme a little further. We all will be going with a shotgun start, which means we start this year's round all at the exact same time. Seems fair, doesn't it?
In addition, I highly recommend a "best ball" format. In fun golf tournaments this style of play is used to assist each team and balance out all players for speed of play and ideally makes the game as fair as possible.
If we apply this in our life, it simply means that we can have other people assist and support us throughout the year. A helpful idea!! It makes the flow of the year go by more smoothly and we usually win more times than we lose, however we still need to take a few shots on our own too!
It is a great feeling when we all get to start at the exact same place as everyone else, and shape our year the way we want to. But the really great news, is knowing that other people on your team can assist you throughout the year.
I have many amazing things I plan on doing in 2011, and this seems like as good of year as any, but I know that I can't do it all on my own.
How about you? Are you up for a do over?
What's on the list?
Who's on your team?
It is common for all of us to get the winter blues in the next 30-45 days.
Here are some tips to get through it.
-Change or tweak a few habits.
-Register for a cooking class. (I will be)
-How about taking the dog for a walk every night before dinner?
(If you don't have a dog, walk the neighbour's dog, as he is not likely as motivated as you are)
-Take your sweetie for a movie.
-Re-connect with an old friend. (I did this in early December and it felt awesome)
-Read a great book. (well at least look at the pictures...LOL)
-Join a gym. (ok, perhaps hang with people who go to the gym) :)
-Go on a warm vacation.
If you want to make this year better than the past year and avoid going insane....think about the words of Albert Einstein. "Insanity: ....doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
Click here for some creativity on how to get where you want to go.
As I see it......Life is a team sport....! Surround yourself with great team mates.
I welcome your comments on this week's blog, in the section below. Gracias!!
"Helping you to the next level"
Monday, December 27, 2010
Want vs. Need
...
Good morning from Kamloops, BC.
So......did you get what you want for Christmas?
Was your list long and detailed?
What did you want exactly?
I do hope you got what you wanted for Christmas, but more importantly realize that what you need the most, was not likely under the Christmas tree.
I am finding that the older (and hopefully wiser) I get, my list gets shorter.
Why is that exactly? Well in most cases, the "things" we want, and usually get for Christmas and Birthday's etc. are not essential. Nice to have, nevertheless.
Now, don't get me wrong, I enjoy a great gift as much as anyone, and I did receive some amazing things this year.
The words Want and Need come up alot and are constantly interchanged. When we were young, we wanted everything, but we didn't necessarily need everything.
Definition of want..................and need
"Want" refers to what you absolutely have to have and "need" refers to something that you don't really lust for -- but you just need it. A need is a necessity.
....or A "want" refers to something that you would prefer to have, what you see as a good rather than a bad. A "need" refers to something that is absolutely necessary to your health (both physical and mental). You may not want to eat salt or take insulin (if you have diabetes), but they are necessary to your health.
Sources: http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_do_you_define_wants_and_needs
As I ponder on my short Christmas list, I realized that I received some of what I wanted, but I am truly getting what I need as it relates to items off the list.
I thank my family, many amazing friends and my health for that.
In 2011, there are many things that I want, as my goal list is long and detailed, but I am focused on ensuring that I get what I need. I need to take care of myself, mentally, physically and emotional. How about you?
My need list isn't long, but it is definitely essential to my well-being. It is work-in-progress.
More importantly, I want to help others appreciate that what they need may not be purchased, but rather something that may be a touch away, or at least take only minutes to receive.
Have a great week with family and friends......you need it..!
"Helping you to the next level"
Good morning from Kamloops, BC.
So......did you get what you want for Christmas?
Was your list long and detailed?
What did you want exactly?
I do hope you got what you wanted for Christmas, but more importantly realize that what you need the most, was not likely under the Christmas tree.
I am finding that the older (and hopefully wiser) I get, my list gets shorter.
Why is that exactly? Well in most cases, the "things" we want, and usually get for Christmas and Birthday's etc. are not essential. Nice to have, nevertheless.
Now, don't get me wrong, I enjoy a great gift as much as anyone, and I did receive some amazing things this year.
The words Want and Need come up alot and are constantly interchanged. When we were young, we wanted everything, but we didn't necessarily need everything.
Definition of want..................and need
"Want" refers to what you absolutely have to have and "need" refers to something that you don't really lust for -- but you just need it. A need is a necessity.
....or A "want" refers to something that you would prefer to have, what you see as a good rather than a bad. A "need" refers to something that is absolutely necessary to your health (both physical and mental). You may not want to eat salt or take insulin (if you have diabetes), but they are necessary to your health.
Sources: http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_do_you_define_wants_and_needs
As I ponder on my short Christmas list, I realized that I received some of what I wanted, but I am truly getting what I need as it relates to items off the list.
I thank my family, many amazing friends and my health for that.
In 2011, there are many things that I want, as my goal list is long and detailed, but I am focused on ensuring that I get what I need. I need to take care of myself, mentally, physically and emotional. How about you?
My need list isn't long, but it is definitely essential to my well-being. It is work-in-progress.
More importantly, I want to help others appreciate that what they need may not be purchased, but rather something that may be a touch away, or at least take only minutes to receive.
Have a great week with family and friends......you need it..!
"Helping you to the next level"
Monday, December 20, 2010
Reflection
...
It is that time of year when I start to reflect on the past year.
For some, they write annual letters and send cards to family and friends, to share the events of the past year.
I was speaking with a Coaching client last week and they commented that they had many great things that happened to them in 2010, but they didn't write the details down.
There is real advantage of this for many reasons. You can reflect all all that you have accomplished, even if it is small and insignificant at the time.
Another aspect of reflection for me is what may have went wrong and how did I handle it? In hindsight, were things as bad as I actually thought that they would be at the time? In many cases, they were not as bad.
I too reflect on my actions....or lack of action.
The definition of reflection is:
Given to reflection or serious consideration; reflective; contemplative; as a reflecting mind.
Throwing back light, heat, etc., as a mirror or other surface.
Click for image:
Upon reflection for me:
I have many amazing people in my life, including family and wonderful friends.
It's ironic that I am today sending out my Blog post later than normal, largely due to the fact that I was away all weekend and just arrived home this morning. I had an amazing experience that just happened to me less than 60 minutes ago. As I was driving I saw an elderly couple walking to their snow covered car, and as they walked straight down the road, I thought, "perhaps I have met these people for a reason" as they further delayed my morning schedule. As I looked in my rearview mirror, I looped back to their vehicle, as I discovered they were now stuck in a solid, snowed packed ridge of snow. I pulled over and started to assist, but realized it would take more than just me to make it happen. Within minutes there were 4 of us helping and strategizing to get them out (without shovels in hand). As we collaborated a moment we managed to push the couple out and they were on their way. The truly amazing part of the story was when all four guys (including me) said "great job guys" and wished each other Merry Christmas and shook hands and went on our way.
As I drove away I reflected on the experience and thought, I am sure glad that the elderly couple delayed my morning schedule. Upon reflection, I was pleased with the man in my mirror.
I will end with a powerful message from the song "Man in the Mirror", by the late Michael Jackson.....
I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways
And No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place And Then Make A Change
When you look in the mirror and see your image reflecting back, are you happy with the reflection?
I welcome comments in the section below.
Happy holidays and Merry Christmas to those of you celebrating!
"Helping you to the next level"
It is that time of year when I start to reflect on the past year.
For some, they write annual letters and send cards to family and friends, to share the events of the past year.
I was speaking with a Coaching client last week and they commented that they had many great things that happened to them in 2010, but they didn't write the details down.
There is real advantage of this for many reasons. You can reflect all all that you have accomplished, even if it is small and insignificant at the time.
Another aspect of reflection for me is what may have went wrong and how did I handle it? In hindsight, were things as bad as I actually thought that they would be at the time? In many cases, they were not as bad.
I too reflect on my actions....or lack of action.
The definition of reflection is:
Given to reflection or serious consideration; reflective; contemplative; as a reflecting mind.
Throwing back light, heat, etc., as a mirror or other surface.
Click for image:
Upon reflection for me:
I have many amazing people in my life, including family and wonderful friends.
It's ironic that I am today sending out my Blog post later than normal, largely due to the fact that I was away all weekend and just arrived home this morning. I had an amazing experience that just happened to me less than 60 minutes ago. As I was driving I saw an elderly couple walking to their snow covered car, and as they walked straight down the road, I thought, "perhaps I have met these people for a reason" as they further delayed my morning schedule. As I looked in my rearview mirror, I looped back to their vehicle, as I discovered they were now stuck in a solid, snowed packed ridge of snow. I pulled over and started to assist, but realized it would take more than just me to make it happen. Within minutes there were 4 of us helping and strategizing to get them out (without shovels in hand). As we collaborated a moment we managed to push the couple out and they were on their way. The truly amazing part of the story was when all four guys (including me) said "great job guys" and wished each other Merry Christmas and shook hands and went on our way.
As I drove away I reflected on the experience and thought, I am sure glad that the elderly couple delayed my morning schedule. Upon reflection, I was pleased with the man in my mirror.
I will end with a powerful message from the song "Man in the Mirror", by the late Michael Jackson.....
I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways
And No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place And Then Make A Change
When you look in the mirror and see your image reflecting back, are you happy with the reflection?
I welcome comments in the section below.
Happy holidays and Merry Christmas to those of you celebrating!
"Helping you to the next level"
Monday, December 13, 2010
I am glad I did! ... Do you wish you had?
...
Life can offer many regrets.
The following line impacted me when I first heard it. (approx. 15 years ago)
At the end of my journey, I want to say..... "I am glad I did vs. I wish I had"
The premise here is that at the end of our lives we will reflect on the past. The visual in my case, when I first heard of this, was a Basket full of "I wish I had's."
What's in your basket?
For some, they may regret not furthering their education.
Others may regret not taking that exciting job offer.
We may wish that we spent more time playing with our kids.
Perhaps we wished that we built meaningful relationships.
I see this to be different from our "bucket list", as in many cases they are smaller things (significant nevertheless) that we can do, or decide not to do, yet can make all the difference.
Is there still time to ensure that the "I wish I had's stay out of your basket?
There are many examples of how I have applied the title of this Blog in my life.......how about you?
What are you glad that you did?
What do you wish you had done?
As for me....
I am glad that I called my Mom on a regular basis when she was living.
I am glad that I travelled to visit my Dad a few weeks before he passed away.
I am glad that I text my kids to keep in touch, so they know that I am there.
I am glad that I said hi, and met amazing people that impacted my life.
I am glad that I made a difference in some people's life.
I am glad that I read The Alchemist. (It allowed me to take risks and understand the miracle of life, by allowing the unexpected to happen.)
I am glad that I started my Blog that allows me the opportunity to stay connected with so many people.
The upcoming weekend will offer another opportunity to say "I am glad I did", when I travel 6 hours to visit a long time family friend to share in her 75th Birthday celebration. Darlene Neuman of Lethbridge, Alberta is like a Mom to me and I have known her for 20 years. I had other plans this weekend with Christmas parties, etc. My thought process was very simple. After I visit her, I know, with certainty that I will say, I am glad I did. Not going, was simply not an option!
The reverse of this is, if you didn't take action, what do you wish you had done?
We have an opportunity to decide if we want to live with regret, or be glad we made a decision to take action, regardless of the outcome.
At the end of the day, none of us want to say................."I wish I had......."
Here's the happy ending to this week's Blog. Create a list of I wish I had's and take action to be glad you did them before it's too late.
I welcome your comments in the comment section below.
"Helping you to the next level"
Life can offer many regrets.
The following line impacted me when I first heard it. (approx. 15 years ago)
At the end of my journey, I want to say..... "I am glad I did vs. I wish I had"
The premise here is that at the end of our lives we will reflect on the past. The visual in my case, when I first heard of this, was a Basket full of "I wish I had's."
What's in your basket?
For some, they may regret not furthering their education.
Others may regret not taking that exciting job offer.
We may wish that we spent more time playing with our kids.
Perhaps we wished that we built meaningful relationships.
I see this to be different from our "bucket list", as in many cases they are smaller things (significant nevertheless) that we can do, or decide not to do, yet can make all the difference.
Is there still time to ensure that the "I wish I had's stay out of your basket?
There are many examples of how I have applied the title of this Blog in my life.......how about you?
What are you glad that you did?
What do you wish you had done?
As for me....
I am glad that I called my Mom on a regular basis when she was living.
I am glad that I travelled to visit my Dad a few weeks before he passed away.
I am glad that I text my kids to keep in touch, so they know that I am there.
I am glad that I said hi, and met amazing people that impacted my life.
I am glad that I made a difference in some people's life.
I am glad that I read The Alchemist. (It allowed me to take risks and understand the miracle of life, by allowing the unexpected to happen.)
I am glad that I started my Blog that allows me the opportunity to stay connected with so many people.
The upcoming weekend will offer another opportunity to say "I am glad I did", when I travel 6 hours to visit a long time family friend to share in her 75th Birthday celebration. Darlene Neuman of Lethbridge, Alberta is like a Mom to me and I have known her for 20 years. I had other plans this weekend with Christmas parties, etc. My thought process was very simple. After I visit her, I know, with certainty that I will say, I am glad I did. Not going, was simply not an option!
The reverse of this is, if you didn't take action, what do you wish you had done?
We have an opportunity to decide if we want to live with regret, or be glad we made a decision to take action, regardless of the outcome.
At the end of the day, none of us want to say................."I wish I had......."
Here's the happy ending to this week's Blog. Create a list of I wish I had's and take action to be glad you did them before it's too late.
I welcome your comments in the comment section below.
"Helping you to the next level"
Monday, December 6, 2010
Goals vs. Resolutions
...
Hello from sunny California! (back to chilly Edmonton tonight)
Tis the season to be planning! Fa la la la la la la la la.
With less than 30 days until the New Year, I thought I would give you a heads up.
It is statistically proven that less than 3 percent of New Years resolutions are acted upon and achieved.
Why exactly?
Well as I see it, many people make the common mistake. They start to reflect on the past year and realize that they want to make changes.......a good thing! But, they don't know what they want, why they want it, and how they can get it....
In my Coaching practice I talk about Goal Setting constantly......not just once per year. This can apply to anyone when it comes to achieving objectives in 2011. The key here is that a goal is not a resolution. (The definition of a resolution, "a decision to do something or to behave in a certain manner") Think about it! It is just a decision to do something..........it is only the first and very basic step.
In light of the fact that we have some time (less than 30 days, assuming you want to get started on January 1st) to articulate our Goals for 2011, here are a few tips for you. (Thanks to one of my mentors, Anthony Robbins)
What is your OUTCOME? (What do you want?.......it could be several things)
...some examples
-make more money
-lose weight
-write a book
-plan a dream vacation
-improve relationships with your kids
-open a flower shop
-complete an MBA
(TIP: be specific with Goals. eg....I want to lose 20 lbs by March 31st, 2011)
Some Goals can be accomplished in a relatively short period of time, but some take longer. Chunk out the goal so you show progress along the journey. Losing 20 lbs may take 90 days, or longer. If you break this down into 30 day time frames it is easier to show progress. You have to lose 5 lbs before you can lose 20 lbs.
What is your PURPOSE? (Why do you want it?....make this very compelling!)
For every Goal (Outcome) you need to write down why you want to accomplish it)
..example I want to lose 20 lbs so I can fit into my new bathing suit for my spring vacation to Mexico. I want to lose 20 lbs so I can have more energy and vitality and be healthier overall.
In my words, I believe that "wimpy why's" getting wimpy results.
If your why is...."just because", you are less likely to achieve your goals and outcomes. Trust me on this!!!
The third and final step....
What ACTION will you take? How will you accomplish the goal(s)?
This is obviously a key step, but usually the following things happen. We know WHAT we want? (The goal/outcome) We may know WHY we want to accomplish the goal/outcome. We don't know HOW we are going to accomplish it, so we wimp out or stop believing we can do it. The second issue, is that we do not make the Action specific and measurable.
My son Nick has an awesome goal when he is 25 years old. (he is now 19) He knows why he wants it too. His concern,"but I don't know how to do it" The exciting part for us (I say us, because I want him to achieve his goal as much as he does, and he will likely get some complimentary coaching through the years. LOL. It's what I do!)
Ok....Back to the 20 lbs weight loss goal. I will go for a 30 min walk 4 times per week. I will stop eating snacks after 7pm. I will replace my soft drink habit with water, etc.
I highly recommend that you write all of the above on paper. Track it, measure it and share your goals with others. It is always helpful to have other people in your corner to support you.
Revisit your goals often. For some of you it may be weekly. For others it may be monthly. (this is at the minimum)
As I reflect on some of my past goals that were accomplished, I realized that I looked at the goals, the purpose and my action on a very regular basis. Top of mind can make all the difference. Back burner doesn't get the attention it needs.
Remember Dr. Stephen R. Covey's book, "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People"... Habit 2 "Begin with the end in mind"
What does it feel like and look like when you accomplish your goal? Put yourself in that place. It will help you get to where you plan on going.
As always, I welcome our comments in the section below.
"Helping you to the next level"
Hello from sunny California! (back to chilly Edmonton tonight)
Tis the season to be planning! Fa la la la la la la la la.
With less than 30 days until the New Year, I thought I would give you a heads up.
It is statistically proven that less than 3 percent of New Years resolutions are acted upon and achieved.
Why exactly?
Well as I see it, many people make the common mistake. They start to reflect on the past year and realize that they want to make changes.......a good thing! But, they don't know what they want, why they want it, and how they can get it....
In my Coaching practice I talk about Goal Setting constantly......not just once per year. This can apply to anyone when it comes to achieving objectives in 2011. The key here is that a goal is not a resolution. (The definition of a resolution, "a decision to do something or to behave in a certain manner") Think about it! It is just a decision to do something..........it is only the first and very basic step.
In light of the fact that we have some time (less than 30 days, assuming you want to get started on January 1st) to articulate our Goals for 2011, here are a few tips for you. (Thanks to one of my mentors, Anthony Robbins)
What is your OUTCOME? (What do you want?.......it could be several things)
...some examples
-make more money
-lose weight
-write a book
-plan a dream vacation
-improve relationships with your kids
-open a flower shop
-complete an MBA
(TIP: be specific with Goals. eg....I want to lose 20 lbs by March 31st, 2011)
Some Goals can be accomplished in a relatively short period of time, but some take longer. Chunk out the goal so you show progress along the journey. Losing 20 lbs may take 90 days, or longer. If you break this down into 30 day time frames it is easier to show progress. You have to lose 5 lbs before you can lose 20 lbs.
What is your PURPOSE? (Why do you want it?....make this very compelling!)
For every Goal (Outcome) you need to write down why you want to accomplish it)
..example I want to lose 20 lbs so I can fit into my new bathing suit for my spring vacation to Mexico. I want to lose 20 lbs so I can have more energy and vitality and be healthier overall.
In my words, I believe that "wimpy why's" getting wimpy results.
If your why is...."just because", you are less likely to achieve your goals and outcomes. Trust me on this!!!
The third and final step....
What ACTION will you take? How will you accomplish the goal(s)?
This is obviously a key step, but usually the following things happen. We know WHAT we want? (The goal/outcome) We may know WHY we want to accomplish the goal/outcome. We don't know HOW we are going to accomplish it, so we wimp out or stop believing we can do it. The second issue, is that we do not make the Action specific and measurable.
My son Nick has an awesome goal when he is 25 years old. (he is now 19) He knows why he wants it too. His concern,"but I don't know how to do it" The exciting part for us (I say us, because I want him to achieve his goal as much as he does, and he will likely get some complimentary coaching through the years. LOL. It's what I do!)
Ok....Back to the 20 lbs weight loss goal. I will go for a 30 min walk 4 times per week. I will stop eating snacks after 7pm. I will replace my soft drink habit with water, etc.
I highly recommend that you write all of the above on paper. Track it, measure it and share your goals with others. It is always helpful to have other people in your corner to support you.
Revisit your goals often. For some of you it may be weekly. For others it may be monthly. (this is at the minimum)
As I reflect on some of my past goals that were accomplished, I realized that I looked at the goals, the purpose and my action on a very regular basis. Top of mind can make all the difference. Back burner doesn't get the attention it needs.
Remember Dr. Stephen R. Covey's book, "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People"... Habit 2 "Begin with the end in mind"
What does it feel like and look like when you accomplish your goal? Put yourself in that place. It will help you get to where you plan on going.
As always, I welcome our comments in the section below.
"Helping you to the next level"
Monday, November 29, 2010
There is something about you......
...
Hello from Los Angeles!
There really is something about you.......but I can't quite put my finger on it.
I had a comment recently from a new business contact. He told me that there was something about me, when he first met me......a certain aura. I was flattered by the comment. But what was it exactly?
With all the people that I interact with on a daily and weekly basis, I am more aware of how people show up. Are they happy? Full of energy? Do they make eye contact? Speak boldly, or softly?
How do you want to show up and be remembered?
Do you smile for no particular reason?
Why do you help others without being asked or expecting anything in return?
Can you just be you 24/7?
Are you a true friend who reaches for someones hand and touches their heart. (I thank my sister Sharon for this line)
How do you show up every day?
Well, the exciting news is that we can show others what we are about every day......but how?
The biblical saying, "do unto others as you would have others do unto you" is so relevant here.
When I meet someone without a smile and they appear withdrawn and sad, I try very hard to make a conscience choice to continue to be ME.....usually in a positive, energized frame of mind. I can only hope that the other person draws from my energy and changes their state. Perhaps in some small way, I made a difference in their day.
We have a choice to present ourselves in a certain way every time we show up. In some cases, we need to show up 50 times per day. Are you up for it?
I was speaking with a Coaching client recently and we made reference to a mutual business contact. I mentioned that we both knew this lady, who is a Business Professional. His response was, "she is a great lady, with real presence and energy". I would suggest that every person that comes in contact with her would have a very similar comment. There is indeed something about her! Regardless of our profession, we have an opportunity to impact people in a positive way.
I am grateful that I have contacts in many professions and backgrounds. The key part for me, it is all about who they are, not what they do.
They differentiate themselves by the way in which they show up, and for the most part it is very consistent.
I tend to gravitate to this type of person, because their (PVP) " personal value proposition" is of interest to me and I draw from their energy and attitude. It is less about the product or service they offer or what street they live on.
There IS something about you, but what do you want that to look like? Put your best foot forward and show your good side everyday!
“Learn and grow all you can; serve and befriend all you can; enrich and inspire all you can.” -William Arthur Ward
Have a great week.
As always, I welcome your comments on this weeks Blog, in the comment section below.
"Helping you to the next level"
Hello from Los Angeles!
There really is something about you.......but I can't quite put my finger on it.
I had a comment recently from a new business contact. He told me that there was something about me, when he first met me......a certain aura. I was flattered by the comment. But what was it exactly?
With all the people that I interact with on a daily and weekly basis, I am more aware of how people show up. Are they happy? Full of energy? Do they make eye contact? Speak boldly, or softly?
How do you want to show up and be remembered?
Do you smile for no particular reason?
Why do you help others without being asked or expecting anything in return?
Can you just be you 24/7?
Are you a true friend who reaches for someones hand and touches their heart. (I thank my sister Sharon for this line)
How do you show up every day?
Well, the exciting news is that we can show others what we are about every day......but how?
The biblical saying, "do unto others as you would have others do unto you" is so relevant here.
When I meet someone without a smile and they appear withdrawn and sad, I try very hard to make a conscience choice to continue to be ME.....usually in a positive, energized frame of mind. I can only hope that the other person draws from my energy and changes their state. Perhaps in some small way, I made a difference in their day.
We have a choice to present ourselves in a certain way every time we show up. In some cases, we need to show up 50 times per day. Are you up for it?
I was speaking with a Coaching client recently and we made reference to a mutual business contact. I mentioned that we both knew this lady, who is a Business Professional. His response was, "she is a great lady, with real presence and energy". I would suggest that every person that comes in contact with her would have a very similar comment. There is indeed something about her! Regardless of our profession, we have an opportunity to impact people in a positive way.
I am grateful that I have contacts in many professions and backgrounds. The key part for me, it is all about who they are, not what they do.
They differentiate themselves by the way in which they show up, and for the most part it is very consistent.
I tend to gravitate to this type of person, because their (PVP) " personal value proposition" is of interest to me and I draw from their energy and attitude. It is less about the product or service they offer or what street they live on.
There IS something about you, but what do you want that to look like? Put your best foot forward and show your good side everyday!
“Learn and grow all you can; serve and befriend all you can; enrich and inspire all you can.” -William Arthur Ward
Have a great week.
As always, I welcome your comments on this weeks Blog, in the comment section below.
"Helping you to the next level"
Monday, November 22, 2010
Do you believe?
...
This is a very broad topic for me, as I keep coming across people that have a lack of belief.....about many things. One of the most crucial things that I observe is that they have a general lack of belief in themselves.
Did they have a belief in themselves at one time?
I believe in many things...
Making a difference.
Loving others.
Working hard.
Trusting people.
That the Oilers will one day.................win more than they lose!
That being positive is better than being negative.
Myself.
So what actually drives our beliefs?
Is it because someone else has been there, done that?.....than we believe?
Do we have to see it to believe it?
What about the Law of Attraction? Many people believe in this.....and many people don`t.
Do you believe that our ACTIONS will attract things in our life? Both good and bad!
If we don`t understand something, we generally don`t believe in it. Too bad, really!
Sometimes you just have to believe.......things will get better.
The classic tune "Don`t Stop Believin”, by the band Journey, really speaks to this message.
.....mid way through the song it says...
"Some will win, Some will lose
Some were born to sing the blues
Oh, the movie never ends
It goes on and on and on and on
Don't stop believin'
Hold on to the feelin'"
Here's my interpretation of the song.
Sometimes you will succeed and sometimes you will fail. We all experience this in our life.
However, some people will complain about the failures and forget to acknowledge the successes in life. (the small wins)
As for the movie never ending, it is life's journey. It ain't over, til it's over, so enjoy the ride.
Regardless of what happens don't stop believing that you will win more times than you will fail. Hold onto that thought and never give up!
On a final note, I want to leave you with an inspiring message when you feel that you lack opportunity or hope. Don`t Stop Believing!
"Drop a pebble and chase the ripples" -Arnold McLaughlin (mentor and dear friend)
I welcome your comments in the comment section below.
"Helping you to the next level"
This is a very broad topic for me, as I keep coming across people that have a lack of belief.....about many things. One of the most crucial things that I observe is that they have a general lack of belief in themselves.
Did they have a belief in themselves at one time?
I believe in many things...
Making a difference.
Loving others.
Working hard.
Trusting people.
That the Oilers will one day.................win more than they lose!
That being positive is better than being negative.
Myself.
So what actually drives our beliefs?
Is it because someone else has been there, done that?.....than we believe?
Do we have to see it to believe it?
What about the Law of Attraction? Many people believe in this.....and many people don`t.
Do you believe that our ACTIONS will attract things in our life? Both good and bad!
If we don`t understand something, we generally don`t believe in it. Too bad, really!
Sometimes you just have to believe.......things will get better.
The classic tune "Don`t Stop Believin”, by the band Journey, really speaks to this message.
.....mid way through the song it says...
"Some will win, Some will lose
Some were born to sing the blues
Oh, the movie never ends
It goes on and on and on and on
Don't stop believin'
Hold on to the feelin'"
Here's my interpretation of the song.
Sometimes you will succeed and sometimes you will fail. We all experience this in our life.
However, some people will complain about the failures and forget to acknowledge the successes in life. (the small wins)
As for the movie never ending, it is life's journey. It ain't over, til it's over, so enjoy the ride.
Regardless of what happens don't stop believing that you will win more times than you will fail. Hold onto that thought and never give up!
On a final note, I want to leave you with an inspiring message when you feel that you lack opportunity or hope. Don`t Stop Believing!
"Drop a pebble and chase the ripples" -Arnold McLaughlin (mentor and dear friend)
I welcome your comments in the comment section below.
"Helping you to the next level"
Monday, November 15, 2010
How's your glass?
...
Good morning from beautiful Victoria, BC.
Is your glass half full, or half empty???
Do you have people in your life that wake up every day with hope and optimism and they see the good in every single thing?....................Pretty awesome if you do!
When you are having a bad day, they are the people that you need to call when you are looking for a "raise the attitude adjustment."
There are of course the other people in our life that have the natural ability to suck the fun out of the day.
Tip......don't call them when you are having a good day.. I am just kidding actually!!
If you are full of mojo, you can possibly break their negative state....but don't coach them to do it....it has to come on its own accord. Just be there and don't get sucked in to the deep dark hole of gloom and doom.
I was at a large fundraising event with a friend of mine a month or so ago. There were many great and supportive people there. We were visiting with a few new contacts and one guy was commenting about his wine glass. I asked him, "is your glass half empty or half full?" Without hesitation he replied, "my glass is definitely half full." It was evident that he meant it and that his approach to life was consistent with this message based on other things that he said. He made me smile and it felt great to be in the presence of someone that had that positive vibe. It made me want to be better!
Sometimes we ask people how they are doing and we may regret asking. They tell us about how crappy life is and how everyone in the world is screwing up their life. Wow...............I am really glad I asked.....Not!
A long-time friend and mentor of mine, Peter Kossowan, shared his classic line with me many years ago.
Rather than saying, "have a good day," Peter always says, "make it a good day" Simple, yet really effective. If you think about it, you have more control over making it a good day than the other way around.
This was profound for me and one of many treasured words of wisdom that Peter has offered me over the years. Thank you Peter! By the way.....he is indeed a "glass half full kind of guy."
Here is some food for thought. If you try to wake up each day and go about your routine with a "my glass is half full" kind of attitude, you may actually surprise yourself.
Examples.....
See the good in other people.
Observe the opportunity in a new business challenge.
How can you make today awesome?
Be grateful for what you have and not be envious of what you do not have.
Make every moment count, rather than waste it on negative thoughts.
What can you do to make a difference in someone else's life?
Half full, or half empty?
Click here for pic
As always, I welcome your feedback on my Blog!
"Helping you to the next level"
Good morning from beautiful Victoria, BC.
Is your glass half full, or half empty???
Do you have people in your life that wake up every day with hope and optimism and they see the good in every single thing?....................Pretty awesome if you do!
When you are having a bad day, they are the people that you need to call when you are looking for a "raise the attitude adjustment."
There are of course the other people in our life that have the natural ability to suck the fun out of the day.
Tip......don't call them when you are having a good day.. I am just kidding actually!!
If you are full of mojo, you can possibly break their negative state....but don't coach them to do it....it has to come on its own accord. Just be there and don't get sucked in to the deep dark hole of gloom and doom.
I was at a large fundraising event with a friend of mine a month or so ago. There were many great and supportive people there. We were visiting with a few new contacts and one guy was commenting about his wine glass. I asked him, "is your glass half empty or half full?" Without hesitation he replied, "my glass is definitely half full." It was evident that he meant it and that his approach to life was consistent with this message based on other things that he said. He made me smile and it felt great to be in the presence of someone that had that positive vibe. It made me want to be better!
Sometimes we ask people how they are doing and we may regret asking. They tell us about how crappy life is and how everyone in the world is screwing up their life. Wow...............I am really glad I asked.....Not!
A long-time friend and mentor of mine, Peter Kossowan, shared his classic line with me many years ago.
Rather than saying, "have a good day," Peter always says, "make it a good day" Simple, yet really effective. If you think about it, you have more control over making it a good day than the other way around.
This was profound for me and one of many treasured words of wisdom that Peter has offered me over the years. Thank you Peter! By the way.....he is indeed a "glass half full kind of guy."
Here is some food for thought. If you try to wake up each day and go about your routine with a "my glass is half full" kind of attitude, you may actually surprise yourself.
Examples.....
See the good in other people.
Observe the opportunity in a new business challenge.
How can you make today awesome?
Be grateful for what you have and not be envious of what you do not have.
Make every moment count, rather than waste it on negative thoughts.
What can you do to make a difference in someone else's life?
Half full, or half empty?
Click here for pic
As always, I welcome your feedback on my Blog!
"Helping you to the next level"
Monday, November 8, 2010
Decisions Decisions Decisions
...
“The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure , the process is its own reward.” - Amelia Earhart
In life, we are faced with many decisions on a daily basis.
What shall I wear today?
Should I take the freeway or another route?
Will I be better off without that relationship?
What is my purpose in life?
Can I afford the next vacation?
Should I accept that new job?
While in most cases, making a decision can be easy for some, it can be extremely difficult for others!
What's even worse, many people fail to make a decision in the first place. In effect, they decide to NOT decide...
It has been said that in life, we have more regret for the things that we do not decide/act upon.
Here is some perspective to give you peace of mind when making critical decisions in your life.
Will it create a Win-Win situation, even though it may not seem like it now?
Will you be better off in the long run making the decision?
Can you avoid not making the decision?
Will you feel better after making the decision?
I am a fan of Andy Andrews and his "7 Decisions for Success"
His first Decision, "The Responsible Decision" (The Buck stops here) states that, "when faced with the opportunity to make a decision, I will make one. We have the ability to make a decision, and then make it right."
For Andy Andrew's full commentary, Click here:
Ultimately making a decision supersedes standing still and not making one.
I will end with a quote from one of my favorite books.
"Making a decision was only the beginning of things. When someone makes a decision, he is really diving into a strong current that will carry him to places he had never dreamed of when he first made the decision."
-Paulo Coelho, author, "The Alchemist"
I hope that you decide to have a terrific week!
As always, I welcome your feedback in the comment section below.
"Helping you to the Next Level"
“The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure , the process is its own reward.” - Amelia Earhart
In life, we are faced with many decisions on a daily basis.
What shall I wear today?
Should I take the freeway or another route?
Will I be better off without that relationship?
What is my purpose in life?
Can I afford the next vacation?
Should I accept that new job?
While in most cases, making a decision can be easy for some, it can be extremely difficult for others!
What's even worse, many people fail to make a decision in the first place. In effect, they decide to NOT decide...
It has been said that in life, we have more regret for the things that we do not decide/act upon.
Here is some perspective to give you peace of mind when making critical decisions in your life.
Will it create a Win-Win situation, even though it may not seem like it now?
Will you be better off in the long run making the decision?
Can you avoid not making the decision?
Will you feel better after making the decision?
I am a fan of Andy Andrews and his "7 Decisions for Success"
His first Decision, "The Responsible Decision" (The Buck stops here) states that, "when faced with the opportunity to make a decision, I will make one. We have the ability to make a decision, and then make it right."
For Andy Andrew's full commentary, Click here:
Ultimately making a decision supersedes standing still and not making one.
I will end with a quote from one of my favorite books.
"Making a decision was only the beginning of things. When someone makes a decision, he is really diving into a strong current that will carry him to places he had never dreamed of when he first made the decision."
-Paulo Coelho, author, "The Alchemist"
I hope that you decide to have a terrific week!
As always, I welcome your feedback in the comment section below.
"Helping you to the Next Level"
Monday, November 1, 2010
Priceless!
...
Defined as invaluable; having incalculable monetary, intellectual, or spiritual worth.
When I was younger I must admit that I did not get this definition right.
Of course, I was thinking that when something was priceless, it was worthless. Wow, was I wrong.
So, what are you worth?
What am I worth to you?....and what are you worth to me?
I was out at a hockey game (ok, the Oilers lost) recently with a friend (Greg) and he made a kind gesture to offer and pay for the ticket I gave him. I responded......how can you put a price on our friendship? He was quick to respond, "you can't, but there is a price on the ticket.....LOL.
My point here is that we all think about money, cost, revenue/income, or the value of something or someone everyday, but what about the things in our life that are truly priceless?
Michael Douglas is reportedly worth $200mil, but would he give all of that wealth back to be healthy and free from cancer? Absolutely!
Health is indeed a priceless commodity, just ask someone with poor or failing health!
Relationships are priceless, just ask someone who does not feel connected to someone.
Here's an action item for you.
Create a list of items in your life that you would define as priceless.
-Health
-Family
-Friends
-Time with someone you really care about
-Time by yourself
-Relationships
-My friendship.. (ok, that may retail for $89.99....but still good value...LOL)
-Other????
To end on an uplifting note, I always enjoy some humour to get a point across.
I love the MasterCard commercials, as they do a terrific job of articulating the Priceless message.
Here is a cute clip to get you started on your week.
Click here:
As always, I welcome your feedback on this week's Blog in the comment section below.
"Helping you to the next level"
Defined as invaluable; having incalculable monetary, intellectual, or spiritual worth.
When I was younger I must admit that I did not get this definition right.
Of course, I was thinking that when something was priceless, it was worthless. Wow, was I wrong.
So, what are you worth?
What am I worth to you?....and what are you worth to me?
I was out at a hockey game (ok, the Oilers lost) recently with a friend (Greg) and he made a kind gesture to offer and pay for the ticket I gave him. I responded......how can you put a price on our friendship? He was quick to respond, "you can't, but there is a price on the ticket.....LOL.
My point here is that we all think about money, cost, revenue/income, or the value of something or someone everyday, but what about the things in our life that are truly priceless?
Michael Douglas is reportedly worth $200mil, but would he give all of that wealth back to be healthy and free from cancer? Absolutely!
Health is indeed a priceless commodity, just ask someone with poor or failing health!
Relationships are priceless, just ask someone who does not feel connected to someone.
Here's an action item for you.
Create a list of items in your life that you would define as priceless.
-Health
-Family
-Friends
-Time with someone you really care about
-Time by yourself
-Relationships
-My friendship.. (ok, that may retail for $89.99....but still good value...LOL)
-Other????
To end on an uplifting note, I always enjoy some humour to get a point across.
I love the MasterCard commercials, as they do a terrific job of articulating the Priceless message.
Here is a cute clip to get you started on your week.
Click here:
As always, I welcome your feedback on this week's Blog in the comment section below.
"Helping you to the next level"
Monday, October 25, 2010
Connection
...
Connection, Connect, Connecting.
We keep hearing these words more and more it seems. It's even in my weekly Blog title.
Whether it is business or personal relationships, the buzz word is Connect, or Connection.
So why is it so important? What does it mean? How does it happen?
Connecting Is All About Others
"When you are trying to connect with people, it’s not about you — it’s about them. If you want to connect with others, you have to get over yourself. You have to change the focus from inward to outward, off of yourself and onto others." - John C. Maxwell (author, "Everyone Communicates, few Connect").
I had the good fortune of seeing a long-time friend of mine from Nova Scotia this past week, (Jim Casey).
We have not seen each other for four years, yet we chat and email from time to time and keep up on our lives. We both agreed that it only seemed like yesterday since we last were together. Every conversation was effortless and comfortable. Wow, what a concept!
We all experience this on occasion with certain people, but why does it happen with some and not others?
Well, I have a few theories, but will focus on one or two. Whether it is a business or personal relationship, we discover that there are certain people that meet, what I call, the "LRT" criteria. We LIKE them, we RESPECT them and we TRUST them, and that has stood the test of time.
I consider myself very lucky that I have many people in my life that meet these criteria. Of course, the criteria are earned over time, and I know that I too must earn this with the other person as well. That's why it works!
It is a simple guide that can go a long way in strengthening a relationship.
I actually use the "LRT criteria within my Coaching practice when I make reference to how we establish Centres of Influences in our professional and personal life. If you have earned the right to ask anyone for anything, you too must be Liked, Respected and Trusted. Here is what is really important. It does not matter if the individual is a CEO, a Doctor, or a Farmer.
If we take the time to Connect with the person, not the position or their status in the community or their wealth, we really have something that is special and long-lasting.
Always ensure that the Connection, or relationship can create a win-win and never keep track if you have won or lost more than the other person. Sometimes you may lean on them more and other times they may ask you for more. It's all good, if indeed a true connection is there.
I welcome your comments on this week's Blog in the section below.
"Helping you to the next Level"
Connection, Connect, Connecting.
We keep hearing these words more and more it seems. It's even in my weekly Blog title.
Whether it is business or personal relationships, the buzz word is Connect, or Connection.
So why is it so important? What does it mean? How does it happen?
Connecting Is All About Others
"When you are trying to connect with people, it’s not about you — it’s about them. If you want to connect with others, you have to get over yourself. You have to change the focus from inward to outward, off of yourself and onto others." - John C. Maxwell (author, "Everyone Communicates, few Connect").
I had the good fortune of seeing a long-time friend of mine from Nova Scotia this past week, (Jim Casey).
We have not seen each other for four years, yet we chat and email from time to time and keep up on our lives. We both agreed that it only seemed like yesterday since we last were together. Every conversation was effortless and comfortable. Wow, what a concept!
We all experience this on occasion with certain people, but why does it happen with some and not others?
Well, I have a few theories, but will focus on one or two. Whether it is a business or personal relationship, we discover that there are certain people that meet, what I call, the "LRT" criteria. We LIKE them, we RESPECT them and we TRUST them, and that has stood the test of time.
I consider myself very lucky that I have many people in my life that meet these criteria. Of course, the criteria are earned over time, and I know that I too must earn this with the other person as well. That's why it works!
It is a simple guide that can go a long way in strengthening a relationship.
I actually use the "LRT criteria within my Coaching practice when I make reference to how we establish Centres of Influences in our professional and personal life. If you have earned the right to ask anyone for anything, you too must be Liked, Respected and Trusted. Here is what is really important. It does not matter if the individual is a CEO, a Doctor, or a Farmer.
If we take the time to Connect with the person, not the position or their status in the community or their wealth, we really have something that is special and long-lasting.
Always ensure that the Connection, or relationship can create a win-win and never keep track if you have won or lost more than the other person. Sometimes you may lean on them more and other times they may ask you for more. It's all good, if indeed a true connection is there.
I welcome your comments on this week's Blog in the section below.
"Helping you to the next Level"
Monday, October 18, 2010
I HAVE A DREAM................DO YOU?
...
No, this is not a message from the late Martin Luther King, Jr. and his powerful message from 1963.
This topic has been on my brain for along time and there seems to be tons of dialogue with my friends and coaching clients in the past number of months about Dreams.
First of all, I do have a Dream....in fact, I have several. When asked, I share some of those dreams with friends and colleagues. Some responses include, wow that is awesome....or, my dreams aren't that good, or.. I don't really have one.....
Here's some very basic advice.......your dream can be as big or small as you want it to be, and it does not need to excite anyone else, except you!!!
When I get into this a little deeper, I find out some amazing and exciting things.......
What about my friend B.E. who dreams of opening a Flower Shop, or my friend S.D. who dreams of completing an MBA, or my friend, T.R. who dreams of being a billionaire (so bad too) ....or my friend P.L. who is living the dream?
While I have used this quote and video clip in one of my Blogs back in March 2010, I felt it worthy to dust it off for a quick review, once again.
This is from the Pursuit of Happyness movie, with Will Smith, and is my favourite quote and scene from the movie, as it says so much, with very few words.
"Don’t ever let somebody tell you, you can’t do something…not even me. You got a dream….you gotta protect it. When people can’t do something themselves they wanna tell you that you can’t do it. You want something….go get it…period"
Click here for video link
For most of us, we seemed to stop dreaming when we became adults. Why? Perhaps, someone told us that we couldn't do something, or we didn't protect the dream.
As kids, we dreamed of becoming doctors, astronauts, riding horses, or playing in a rock band, and much more.
“A goal is a dream with a deadline.” - Napoleon Hill
There have been many things that I have done in my life that many years ago would have been regarded as a wild dream, or crazy idea..........but today they have been realized. Sometimes, its as simple as taking a little action and instilling belief in yourself that you can indeed realize the dream.
p.s...I had a surreal moment as I was listening to Martin Luther King, Jr.'s speech on Youtube while I prepared this week's Blog. As I typed the words, "Pursuit of Happyness", within this Blog, he said the exact words (Pursuit of Happiness) as I typed them......I was kinda wowed by that coincidence..........That man indeed, had a Dream!!!
Have a great week.....you deserve it.
I welcome your comments on this weeks Blog in the comment section below.
"Helping you to the next level"
No, this is not a message from the late Martin Luther King, Jr. and his powerful message from 1963.
This topic has been on my brain for along time and there seems to be tons of dialogue with my friends and coaching clients in the past number of months about Dreams.
First of all, I do have a Dream....in fact, I have several. When asked, I share some of those dreams with friends and colleagues. Some responses include, wow that is awesome....or, my dreams aren't that good, or.. I don't really have one.....
Here's some very basic advice.......your dream can be as big or small as you want it to be, and it does not need to excite anyone else, except you!!!
When I get into this a little deeper, I find out some amazing and exciting things.......
What about my friend B.E. who dreams of opening a Flower Shop, or my friend S.D. who dreams of completing an MBA, or my friend, T.R. who dreams of being a billionaire (so bad too) ....or my friend P.L. who is living the dream?
While I have used this quote and video clip in one of my Blogs back in March 2010, I felt it worthy to dust it off for a quick review, once again.
This is from the Pursuit of Happyness movie, with Will Smith, and is my favourite quote and scene from the movie, as it says so much, with very few words.
"Don’t ever let somebody tell you, you can’t do something…not even me. You got a dream….you gotta protect it. When people can’t do something themselves they wanna tell you that you can’t do it. You want something….go get it…period"
Click here for video link
For most of us, we seemed to stop dreaming when we became adults. Why? Perhaps, someone told us that we couldn't do something, or we didn't protect the dream.
As kids, we dreamed of becoming doctors, astronauts, riding horses, or playing in a rock band, and much more.
“A goal is a dream with a deadline.” - Napoleon Hill
There have been many things that I have done in my life that many years ago would have been regarded as a wild dream, or crazy idea..........but today they have been realized. Sometimes, its as simple as taking a little action and instilling belief in yourself that you can indeed realize the dream.
p.s...I had a surreal moment as I was listening to Martin Luther King, Jr.'s speech on Youtube while I prepared this week's Blog. As I typed the words, "Pursuit of Happyness", within this Blog, he said the exact words (Pursuit of Happiness) as I typed them......I was kinda wowed by that coincidence..........That man indeed, had a Dream!!!
Have a great week.....you deserve it.
I welcome your comments on this weeks Blog in the comment section below.
"Helping you to the next level"
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Thank you!
...
With the Thanksgiving weekend behind us, I felt that it was appropriate to give thanks to the many people that are in my world. There are many!
I do not say that to impress you, but to impress upon you that we all have people in our life that care so much about our well-being.
Traditionally, Thanksgiving is a time to give thanks for the harvest and express gratitude in general. I am grateful that my family in Saskatchewan is on the home stretch of getting their harvest off.
As I reflect, I find it really amazing that when you take the time to truly be thankful and grateful for the people you have in your life, nothing else seems as stressful or concerning.
You simply realize that life is pretty good, even though, at times, it can give you grief and challenge.
Those special people that support you, listen to you and care about your well-being make all the difference. Who are those people in your world? Are you on someones list too? This is a reciprocal process, meaning you give to so many people too, and rest assured, they are grateful.
One of my favourite songs is called "Thank You" (Johnny Reid)
The first few lines are as follows:
"If I only had, two words left to say to you.
With my last breath I'd come face the truth to you.
You've never left my side, even when I fell behind.
Thank-you."
Thank you to the special people in my life that never left my side.
Have a great week and be thankful for the great people in your life.
Helping you to the next level.
With the Thanksgiving weekend behind us, I felt that it was appropriate to give thanks to the many people that are in my world. There are many!
I do not say that to impress you, but to impress upon you that we all have people in our life that care so much about our well-being.
Traditionally, Thanksgiving is a time to give thanks for the harvest and express gratitude in general. I am grateful that my family in Saskatchewan is on the home stretch of getting their harvest off.
As I reflect, I find it really amazing that when you take the time to truly be thankful and grateful for the people you have in your life, nothing else seems as stressful or concerning.
You simply realize that life is pretty good, even though, at times, it can give you grief and challenge.
Those special people that support you, listen to you and care about your well-being make all the difference. Who are those people in your world? Are you on someones list too? This is a reciprocal process, meaning you give to so many people too, and rest assured, they are grateful.
One of my favourite songs is called "Thank You" (Johnny Reid)
The first few lines are as follows:
"If I only had, two words left to say to you.
With my last breath I'd come face the truth to you.
You've never left my side, even when I fell behind.
Thank-you."
Thank you to the special people in my life that never left my side.
Have a great week and be thankful for the great people in your life.
Helping you to the next level.
Monday, October 4, 2010
Struggles
...
In my profession as a Business Consultant and Sales Coach, I see and speak with many people who have struggles. Some struggles are personal, and some are professional issues, but the reality is that this is completely normal. It's called life!!
When the going gets tough, do you keep going? Many people do, and persevere, but many people just stop...or quit!
"If you're going through hell, keep going." -Winston Churchill
Life can throw us curve balls without notice, but we must teach ourselves, or seek support from others to learn how to get out of the rut, or funk. Be strong and put in the effort to step forward.
As I speak with more and more people in my journey called life, I realize that alot of people don't actually know where they want to end up. Their struggles may be related to job or career challenges. Perhaps they work hard and life is always hectic with their business and they see no end in sight. They may say, "why me?"
I really like the advice from Andy Andrews (7 Decisions for Success) .
He states, when someone asks, "why me, I will immediately counter with the answer, why not me? Challenges are gifts, an opportunity to learn. Problems are the common thread running through the lives of great men and women. In times of adversity I will not have a problem to deal with, I will have a choice to make. Adversity is preparation for greatness."
This is great advice, and I do know that it works.
In addition to the above suggestion, I really encourage you to think about the following advice as it has served me very well over the past few years as I encountered many struggles in my life.
Focus on what you want......NOT on what you don't want. This is very simple advice, but so many people don't follow this. Create the life that you want..................you deserve it!
Instead of saying, "I don't want to be unhappy, say "I want true happiness and will do what I need to do to find it"....(Two very different approaches)
I am a big fan of the work of Napoleon Hill. One of my favourites quotes from him is, "why is it that more people don't keep on, keeping on?" The meaning here is that, if we push ourselves just a little more or further, we may get through the challenge and reap the benefits of our efforts...!
Here is my way of illustrating the struggles of life and I will relate it to a baseball diamond. The goal in baseball is to get a hit (let's call that success) and advance around the bases (we will call this the journey of life) If you only get to 1st base and hit a challenge or struggle (you are out) you must start all over again. Getting to 1st base 10 times or 50 times is not the objective. Keep on keeping on, to advance your life!
When you get good at this, you realize that you will keep doing it, because as I see it, there is no other option worth considering!!!
Struggles will make you stronger........trust me on this one!!!
I would welcome your comments on this week's Blog, in the comment section below.
"Helping you to the next level"
In my profession as a Business Consultant and Sales Coach, I see and speak with many people who have struggles. Some struggles are personal, and some are professional issues, but the reality is that this is completely normal. It's called life!!
When the going gets tough, do you keep going? Many people do, and persevere, but many people just stop...or quit!
"If you're going through hell, keep going." -Winston Churchill
Life can throw us curve balls without notice, but we must teach ourselves, or seek support from others to learn how to get out of the rut, or funk. Be strong and put in the effort to step forward.
As I speak with more and more people in my journey called life, I realize that alot of people don't actually know where they want to end up. Their struggles may be related to job or career challenges. Perhaps they work hard and life is always hectic with their business and they see no end in sight. They may say, "why me?"
I really like the advice from Andy Andrews (7 Decisions for Success) .
He states, when someone asks, "why me, I will immediately counter with the answer, why not me? Challenges are gifts, an opportunity to learn. Problems are the common thread running through the lives of great men and women. In times of adversity I will not have a problem to deal with, I will have a choice to make. Adversity is preparation for greatness."
This is great advice, and I do know that it works.
In addition to the above suggestion, I really encourage you to think about the following advice as it has served me very well over the past few years as I encountered many struggles in my life.
Focus on what you want......NOT on what you don't want. This is very simple advice, but so many people don't follow this. Create the life that you want..................you deserve it!
Instead of saying, "I don't want to be unhappy, say "I want true happiness and will do what I need to do to find it"....(Two very different approaches)
I am a big fan of the work of Napoleon Hill. One of my favourites quotes from him is, "why is it that more people don't keep on, keeping on?" The meaning here is that, if we push ourselves just a little more or further, we may get through the challenge and reap the benefits of our efforts...!
Here is my way of illustrating the struggles of life and I will relate it to a baseball diamond. The goal in baseball is to get a hit (let's call that success) and advance around the bases (we will call this the journey of life) If you only get to 1st base and hit a challenge or struggle (you are out) you must start all over again. Getting to 1st base 10 times or 50 times is not the objective. Keep on keeping on, to advance your life!
When you get good at this, you realize that you will keep doing it, because as I see it, there is no other option worth considering!!!
Struggles will make you stronger........trust me on this one!!!
I would welcome your comments on this week's Blog, in the comment section below.
"Helping you to the next level"
Monday, September 27, 2010
Helping a stranger!
...
This story may be a little out there for some of you.....................viewer discretion is advised!
Last week, I was working at my home office. It was a cool fall day, and I decided to step out on my deck.
As I could smell the crisp fall air, I noticed a beautiful butterfly folded on my deck.
Assuming it was no longer alive, I picked it up to admire the tremendous colors in his wings. As I did so, I realized that there was a glimmer of hope left in his very cold, and still life.
I decided to cradle him in my hands for a moment, in fact I went back inside and allowed the warm room to accelerate the somewhat optimistic recovery. A few moments past, virtually no time at all in my busy world, but something remarkable happened. He began to crawl on my hand and a few twitches were evident.
What could a few more minutes be worth to this little creature? Well, as fate would have it, those few moments were life changing. He started to respond to the warmth very quickly. I returned to the deck and held out my hand, offering support and encouragement to his healthy return. Moments later, his wings flapped with life and he went off. I took a moment to see him flutter away as he eventually landed on the warm grass, many yards away.
I must admit that this proved to be a surreal moment for me as I felt so powerful at that time, yet appreciated the fact that there was trust on his part. Sometimes being kind to a stranger is the greatest gift of all.
In life, we are presented with many opportunities to help others, but do we always take a few moments to make a difference? As you can appreciate, those few moments can be life changing for some and unforgettable for others.
Perhaps we can help a stranger in distress, or a friend that needs those few moments of our time! Ultimately, that may be life changing for us too!
"Helping you to the next level" (This has a new meaning for me this week)
I welcome your thoughts on my Blog in the comments section below.
This story may be a little out there for some of you.....................viewer discretion is advised!
Last week, I was working at my home office. It was a cool fall day, and I decided to step out on my deck.
As I could smell the crisp fall air, I noticed a beautiful butterfly folded on my deck.
Assuming it was no longer alive, I picked it up to admire the tremendous colors in his wings. As I did so, I realized that there was a glimmer of hope left in his very cold, and still life.
I decided to cradle him in my hands for a moment, in fact I went back inside and allowed the warm room to accelerate the somewhat optimistic recovery. A few moments past, virtually no time at all in my busy world, but something remarkable happened. He began to crawl on my hand and a few twitches were evident.
What could a few more minutes be worth to this little creature? Well, as fate would have it, those few moments were life changing. He started to respond to the warmth very quickly. I returned to the deck and held out my hand, offering support and encouragement to his healthy return. Moments later, his wings flapped with life and he went off. I took a moment to see him flutter away as he eventually landed on the warm grass, many yards away.
I must admit that this proved to be a surreal moment for me as I felt so powerful at that time, yet appreciated the fact that there was trust on his part. Sometimes being kind to a stranger is the greatest gift of all.
In life, we are presented with many opportunities to help others, but do we always take a few moments to make a difference? As you can appreciate, those few moments can be life changing for some and unforgettable for others.
Perhaps we can help a stranger in distress, or a friend that needs those few moments of our time! Ultimately, that may be life changing for us too!
"Helping you to the next level" (This has a new meaning for me this week)
I welcome your thoughts on my Blog in the comments section below.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Dam!!!
...
Did you know that the Hoover Dam was constructed in the 1930's?
A dam's main purpose is to hold back the flow of water.
So, what's holding you back?
We all have dam's that get created in our life, to hold us back or to prevent us from doing something.
It may be because of fear, career, relationships, health, etc.
What if the dam broke free? In some cases this could be a great and powerful force. You could flow more freely in life and not have so much pressure...........that pressure could be Dam frustrating at times!!
Ask yourself, ...Am I ready to break free and let what's holding me back flow? or...Am I willing to be restricted from discovering what is behind the pressure and build up?
More often than not, you will feel much better and definitely more powerful when you allow it to break free. Believe me, I can attest to this, and it is indeed very liberating!
Not to be so Dam serious today, I wanted to end this week's Blog with a quick clip from the movie "Vegas Vacation" with Chevy Chase, that`s Dam funny.
Click here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6oxhLz9l5s
I welcome your comments in the comments section below.
Have a great week!
"Helping you to the next level"
Did you know that the Hoover Dam was constructed in the 1930's?
A dam's main purpose is to hold back the flow of water.
So, what's holding you back?
We all have dam's that get created in our life, to hold us back or to prevent us from doing something.
It may be because of fear, career, relationships, health, etc.
What if the dam broke free? In some cases this could be a great and powerful force. You could flow more freely in life and not have so much pressure...........that pressure could be Dam frustrating at times!!
Ask yourself, ...Am I ready to break free and let what's holding me back flow? or...Am I willing to be restricted from discovering what is behind the pressure and build up?
More often than not, you will feel much better and definitely more powerful when you allow it to break free. Believe me, I can attest to this, and it is indeed very liberating!
Not to be so Dam serious today, I wanted to end this week's Blog with a quick clip from the movie "Vegas Vacation" with Chevy Chase, that`s Dam funny.
Click here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6oxhLz9l5s
I welcome your comments in the comments section below.
Have a great week!
"Helping you to the next level"
Monday, September 13, 2010
Slow down, you're going too fast...
...
As the song from the 60's suggests. "Slow down you move too fast, you've got to make the morning last"
...by Simon and Garfunkel -59th Street Bridge Song (Feelin' Groovy)
It opens with............
Slow down, you move too fast.
You got to make the morning last.
Just kicking down the cobble stones.
Looking for fun and feelin' groovy.
It has been way too long since I kicked a cobble stone. Now that I think about, I have never kicked a cobble stone...LOL
Well, we may no longer use the word groovy, but what about, content, joyful, happy, grateful, accomplished, fulfilled?
As I reflect on the past summer and the many contacts that I speak and communicate with it is evident that we are moving faster and faster and don't feel "groovy" as often as we should. I can definitely attest to this from time to time.
Where are you going in such a hurry? Remember, life is about the journey not just the destination!
Much like what Jack said to Rose during a dramatic scene from the Titanic...
"You learn to take life as it comes at you... to make each day count"
Are you making every moment count?
A very good friend of mine asked me recently, "Mike, do you take your own advice when you write your Blog?" The answer is yes. Remember, I am the first person to read the Blog and often refer back to past Blog's as a reminder to follow my own message. It is simple advice that we all need to be reminded of, from time to time.
Back to feelin groovy....
If we take a moment for ourselves and reflect on the journey and slowdown and not always go too fast, we may have alot more fun along the way.
Have a groovy week. Peace! (OK, a little too 60's perhaps)
"Helping you to the next level"
As the song from the 60's suggests. "Slow down you move too fast, you've got to make the morning last"
...by Simon and Garfunkel -59th Street Bridge Song (Feelin' Groovy)
It opens with............
Slow down, you move too fast.
You got to make the morning last.
Just kicking down the cobble stones.
Looking for fun and feelin' groovy.
It has been way too long since I kicked a cobble stone. Now that I think about, I have never kicked a cobble stone...LOL
Well, we may no longer use the word groovy, but what about, content, joyful, happy, grateful, accomplished, fulfilled?
As I reflect on the past summer and the many contacts that I speak and communicate with it is evident that we are moving faster and faster and don't feel "groovy" as often as we should. I can definitely attest to this from time to time.
Where are you going in such a hurry? Remember, life is about the journey not just the destination!
Much like what Jack said to Rose during a dramatic scene from the Titanic...
"You learn to take life as it comes at you... to make each day count"
Are you making every moment count?
A very good friend of mine asked me recently, "Mike, do you take your own advice when you write your Blog?" The answer is yes. Remember, I am the first person to read the Blog and often refer back to past Blog's as a reminder to follow my own message. It is simple advice that we all need to be reminded of, from time to time.
Back to feelin groovy....
If we take a moment for ourselves and reflect on the journey and slowdown and not always go too fast, we may have alot more fun along the way.
Have a groovy week. Peace! (OK, a little too 60's perhaps)
"Helping you to the next level"
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Surround yourself with good people!
...
Corporations try to do it, as they always try to recruit the right people.
In our personal lives, it should be similar, or at least in theory.
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
– Jim Rohn
Do they raise you up, or bring you down? Do they bring negative or positive energy?
As I see it, we don't always surround ourselves with the people that help us get better, or more positive. Why not? Are we even aware of it?
In my business, I work with a number of different businesses from time to time.
Over the past 5 months I have worked very closely with Terry R. He is truly good people. While we have a strong working relationship, I know that I am a better person every time that we communicate and meet. He raises my game and makes me better. Thank you Terry!
I had the good fortune of spending the long weekend in Southern Saskatchewan with my family and enjoyed the harvest mode of farming for the first time in many years. Now that I am a city boy, I do not have the opportunity to do this very often.
During the trip I realized many things. First of all, I have an amazing family. 3 awesome sisters and 2 great brothers. When I am in their company I know that I am surrounded by good people. They raise me up, and never bring me down. They always offer unconditional love and support and there seems to be no limit to this. Yes, I know that I am a very lucky man!
As we go through the ups and downs of life we need to think more about who we spend time with. Having said that, the people that associate with us can say the same. What do we bring to the table? Do we raise them up and bring positive energy more times than not? Think about it...!
The above statement about being the average of the 5 people that you spend time with, must also take us into account as well. Are we improving the average?
"Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher."
-Oprah Winfrey
Have a great week!
"Helping you to the next level"
Corporations try to do it, as they always try to recruit the right people.
In our personal lives, it should be similar, or at least in theory.
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
– Jim Rohn
Do they raise you up, or bring you down? Do they bring negative or positive energy?
As I see it, we don't always surround ourselves with the people that help us get better, or more positive. Why not? Are we even aware of it?
In my business, I work with a number of different businesses from time to time.
Over the past 5 months I have worked very closely with Terry R. He is truly good people. While we have a strong working relationship, I know that I am a better person every time that we communicate and meet. He raises my game and makes me better. Thank you Terry!
I had the good fortune of spending the long weekend in Southern Saskatchewan with my family and enjoyed the harvest mode of farming for the first time in many years. Now that I am a city boy, I do not have the opportunity to do this very often.
During the trip I realized many things. First of all, I have an amazing family. 3 awesome sisters and 2 great brothers. When I am in their company I know that I am surrounded by good people. They raise me up, and never bring me down. They always offer unconditional love and support and there seems to be no limit to this. Yes, I know that I am a very lucky man!
As we go through the ups and downs of life we need to think more about who we spend time with. Having said that, the people that associate with us can say the same. What do we bring to the table? Do we raise them up and bring positive energy more times than not? Think about it...!
The above statement about being the average of the 5 people that you spend time with, must also take us into account as well. Are we improving the average?
"Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher."
-Oprah Winfrey
Have a great week!
"Helping you to the next level"
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