Monday, January 17, 2011

Where do you want to go from here?

...

Just over a week ago, my son Nick and I were returning from Mexico.  As we sat on the plane, ready for take off, the pilot announced. "ladies and gentlemen there will be a slight delay, as our flight plan has not arrived yet."  (Kind of important, right?)   So we waited for 2 hours until it finally arrived.  Great, now we can take off.  No, we now have to re-fuel. 
I chuckled to myself and thought...."did we not plan this trip out already?......I think Edmonton was the plan, right???

Does this sound familiar?

Someone just acheived great success.......................they say to them themselves, I don't know where I want to go from here?

On the flip side, they may have experienced great pain and challenge.   They think, wow, I don't want that again, but I don't know where I want to go from here to avoid future pain.

Why is that exactly?

Well, I have a few thoughts...

If you are like most people, you don't set a course/plan with absolute intent.

Gee,.. I didn't know that I would end up HERE!   Where did you want to go in the first place?  I don't know.  Then you may have ended up where you were suppose to go.

Alice in Wonderland......
It's hard to believe that there was deep meaning in this classic novel, but one scene and series of quotes really hits home with this week's topic.

Alice: Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?

The Cat: That depends a good deal on where you want to get to.

Alice: I don't much care where.

The Cat: Then it doesn't much matter which way you go.

Alice: …so long as I get somewhere.

The Cat: Oh, you're sure to do that, if only you walk long enough.

Does this resonate with you and your plans sometimes?  How can you change that?

Like a great road trip......it is ok to tour sometimes, (you may use more fuel), but eventually you need to end up at a particular destination.  (It could be where you started in the first place)

The reality in life is that time starts to play a factor.   If we do not establish some form of clarity in our life as to where we want to go from here, we will tour around and waste fuel.  Not a big deal over a weekend, but if you make this a habit for a month, year, decade, it could be costly.

A few examples:

Starting out on a new career path, but you don't know if it is for you.   10 years later, you realize that it wasn't for you.

Working on some form of education to find out it wasn't what you really wanted to do.......oops I changed my mind.

Being in a relationship for many years and as you approach retirement, where you can spend more time together, you want to travel the world and your partner wants to relax at home.

Remember, ....you need to ask the question often.  Where do I want to go from here?  When other people are involved, and they usually are.  (i.e. partners, kids, business associates, etc.) You need them to answer the same question. 

A tip for this......................fast forward 5 years out.   What do you see your life looking like?  Do you like what you see?  What scares you most? Make some small corrections now to reset your course.  Communicate with others, if necessary. 

Plan and chart Life's journey!  It does not need to be as precise as a flight plan from Cancun to Edmonton, but it must have some tangible details.

We don't want to end up like Alice, do we?

I look forward to connecting with you next Monday.  

"Helping you to the next level"

Monday, January 10, 2011

Loss

...

Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose!

Most of us can relate to the recent loss that the Canadian Junior Hockey team, and the entire country experienced when they were upset by the Russian team....Some say it was unexpected, yet the risk of loss in sports and life is always a real possibility.  There is not absolute certainty with most things in our life.


I know that we have all suffered loss in our life.  For some it may have been small and others life altering.
Whether, it is the loss of a loved one; a job opportunity; your favorite sports team; or loss of a meaningful relationship, it can be tough and very impactful.


It is never easy, is it?

How we respond to the loss becomes more critical and paramount.

We usually analyze how it happened and definitely why it happened.

The part of the program where we actually accept the loss for what is it, or was, is really key!

Most of us tend to dwell alot and it does not allow us the opportunity to step forward and move pass the loss.
I am not suggesting that this process happens over night.........it can take a very long time, depending on how significant the loss and the nature of the circumstance.

There are many people in my life experiencing some form of loss at this time and my heart goes out to them.   They will all handle it differently, but over time it will get easier.

Dealing with Loss is much like grieving and there are many sources out there that suggest it is  a process.

The most common include:

Denial-  You are in disbelief........such as, this can't be happening to me. Not accepting or even acknowledging the loss.

Anger- Why did this happen to me?

Depression- You simply feel overwhelmed, frustrated and bitter. 

Acceptance- You have to accept the loss, not just try to cope quietly. Realization that the loss actually happened. Finding the good that can come out of the pain of loss.  (This is not easy, and usually time is the only remedy)


Get help and support from family, friends and professionals. You will survive. You will heal, even if you can't believe that now.


Best wishes for a great week!

"Helping you to the next level"

Monday, January 3, 2011

Hey.......we get a do over!

...

Hello from Mexico.  (Riviera Maya)

Feliz Año Nuevo a mis amigos, familia y contactos de negocios.


(Happy New Year to my friends, family and business contacts!)....sounds sexier in Spanish, doesn't it???

It is really hard to believe that 2011 is upon us, but wow, we get to accomplish so many things in the year ahead.

Those of you who are golfers can relate to the term, "mulligan".
This occurs when you hit a bad shot in golf and you get to do the shot over, without penalty. (Usually done during a social round of golf, and not for pro's or competitive tournaments)

Well, here is the good news; we get to take another shot at a New Year. 
Whether your past year was played in the rough or you were cruising straight down the middle  of the fairway, called life's journey, (without challenge), you get to start with a clean slate in 2011.   What a cool concept....!

Continuing with the golf theme a little further.  We all will be going with a shotgun start, which means we start this year's round all at the exact same time.  Seems fair, doesn't it?
In addition, I highly recommend a "best ball" format.  In fun golf tournaments this style of play is used to assist each team and balance out all players for speed of play and ideally makes the game as fair as possible.

If we apply this in our life, it simply means that we can have other people assist and support us throughout the year.  A helpful idea!!   It makes the flow of the year go by more smoothly and we usually win more times than we lose, however we still need to take a few shots on our own too!

It is a great feeling when we all get to start at the exact same place as everyone else, and shape our year the way we want to.  But the really great news, is knowing that other people on your team can assist you throughout the year.

I have many amazing things I plan on doing in 2011, and this seems like as good of year as any, but I know that I can't do it all on my own.

How about you?  Are you up for a do over?
What's on the list? 
Who's on your team?

It is common for all of us to get the winter blues in the next 30-45 days. 
Here are some tips to get through it.

-Change or tweak a few habits. 
-Register for a cooking class. (I will be)
-How about taking the dog for a walk every night before dinner?
(If you don't have a dog, walk the neighbour's dog, as he is not likely as motivated as you are)
-Take your sweetie for a movie. 
-Re-connect with an old friend. (I did this in early December and it felt awesome)
-Read a great book.  (well at least look at the pictures...LOL)
-Join a gym.  (ok, perhaps hang with people who go to the gym)  :)
-Go on a warm vacation.


If you want to make this year better than the past year and avoid going insane....think about the words of Albert Einstein.  "Insanity: ....doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
Click here for some creativity on how to get where you want to go.

As I see it......Life is a team sport....!   Surround yourself with great team mates.


I welcome your comments on this week's blog, in the section below.   Gracias!!

"Helping you to the next level"